For a number of years, I had the opportunity to collaborate with a customer who was very bright, intelligent, successful, and well educated. a woman we’ll refer to as “ashley” She was the kind of person who ought to have been presented with a great deal of options for her to pursue. Ashley, on the other hand, was having a very difficult time finding work. During the course of our sessions of professional coaching, it became abundantly evident that she was also experiencing difficulties in her personal life. “What exactly is going on up here?” I questioned myself. By paying close attention to Ashley’s statements on a regular basis, I was able to get an understanding of the ways in which she thought. Ashley’s feelings and actions, as well as her responses to other people and situations, as well as the decisions she made, were the direct result of these ideas, which naturally influenced her behavior. After “tuning into” Ashley’s thought processes, I was able to see very clearly what was preventing her from moving forward. Her “self-talk” was the source of the problem. It is something that we all do. On a daily basis, we go about our lives, carrying out the activities that we do and living with an unending “tape” playing in our thoughts. It is a routine that has become so established in our minds that the majority of the time, we do not even notice this “noise.” There are, however, “tapes” in there, and they control our life, whether for the better or for the worse! In the instance of Ashley, her “self-talk” was really rather negative and counterproductive to her own goals. It reduced the number of choices available to her and kept her “trapped.” In the event that we were unable to find a solution to this problem, I came to the realization that I would be unable to assist Ashley in advancing her career. It was not a poor résumé or a difficult employment market that was preventing her from achieving her goals. The “internal script” of negative self-talk that Ashley was using was, in fact, the thing that was preventing her from making progress. The chat that I had with Ashley was quite serious, and during that conversation, I conveyed my opinions on this matter. Following a brief period of introspection, she expressed her thoughts by stating, “Well, I suppose I’ll simply have to ‘flip my script’ in order to achieve the kind of job and life that I actually want!” With a grin on my face, I nodded my head and said, “absolutely!” I went on to say that when a person is at a crossroads in their professional life, it is essential to reveal any anxieties or concerns that they may have, write them down, recognize them, and then “flip the script.” The approach known as “flipping the script” does, of course, have its limitations. It is most successful when dealing with issues that are cerebral in character, logistical in nature, or practical in nature. When there is a more profound psychological issue or a worry about mental health, it would be preferable to investigate alternative sorts of techniques and therapies. Ashley inquired about the best way for her to “flip the script.” the As a result, I requested that she take out a piece of paper and draw a line that runs vertically down the middle of it. I went on to say, “On the left-hand side, transcribe as many of your internal ‘tapes’ as you are able to.” Please jot down the exact phrases that are going through your thoughts during the day about your job, your family, your personal life, your money, and anything else! This was something that Ashley started doing, and after about ten minutes, I urged her to take a break. “Now, on the right-hand side of the paper, write down anything that is the complete opposite of what you see on the left-hand side.” Ashley continued to do this for around ten more minutes, and I have to let you know that she found this portion of the workout to be rather difficult! When we reached that point in time, our coaching session had already concluded, and I gave Ashley the instruction to continue working on the project until our next appointment. When Ashley came back to my office the next week, she was with a huge grin on her face that was radiating with happiness. After pulling out a stack of papers that had been fastened with paper clips, she gave it to me. “What I witnessed really blew me away!” Throughout the course of the week, Ashley had put in a lot of effort to complete this exercise, and at the end of it, she had written out nearly 10 pages of material titled “flip the script.” It was her intention to make the left side of each page black, while the right side would be blue. Ashley and I went over the whole paper together, and we arrived at some significant improvements to the “blue” language that she had written. As soon as we had completed everything, I immediately turned my attention to her and stated, “This is the screenplay for your new life.” You will be able to construct a new and better life for yourself, particularly in terms of your career and personal life, if you understand it and integrate it fully. But it won’t be a simple task. Are you able to handle it? Ashley screamed, “absolutely!” without missing a single beat in her execution. At this point, it would be beneficial to demonstrate to you what it truly looks like, it would be good to “flip the script.” Instances of the “old script” (in bold) and the “new script” are shown below, with the former being examples of the former. This information was collected from a wide variety of customers, and it is important to note that their names have been removed in order to protect their identities: My biggest concern is that I do not possess the personality and talents necessary to thrive in the working world over the long run. I am taking preventative measures to determine my areas of weakness and to provide myself with the resources I need to achieve success over the long run. When I want to and when I have to, I am able to learn anything. I have been in challenging situations in the past, and every time I have emerged from those experiences stronger than before. That I will never have the self-confidence to accept a job that will push me to my limits and challenge me is something that I fear will never happen. I am self-assured enough to assume responsibility for new problems. I have experience with it, and I am able to perform it once more. Building on my previous achievements and taking baby steps outside of my comfort zone are both contributing to my rising sense of self-assurance. I am intimidated by the prospect of failing and feeling embarrassed in front of my fellow employees. Failure is something that I look forward to, particularly when I am able to gain knowledge from it, since I believe that every successful person has experienced failure on several occasions before they have achieved true success. It makes no difference what my coworkers think of me. When I place myself in a situation where I have a chance of failing, I am able to achieve success. My family and my coworkers would no longer respect me if I am unable to find job, and I am scared that this will happen. This is a part of life that virtually everyone will experience at some time in their lives: being jobless. In order to be ready for the many phases that life brings, I am optimistic and proactive in the process of developing a plan of action. My family embraces me without condition because of who I am, not because of the work that I do. When I am dealing with an employee that is opinionated or has a strong will, I do not feel comfortable being firm in my role as the leading individual. It was for a specific purpose that I was granted a position of power because I was trusted sufficiently. I take a very strong stance if I am dealing with a problematic employee. That is not a personal matter; it is business. It is not necessary for me to feel intimidated by other workers since these individuals are not superior to me. Too much importance is placed on what other people think of me. I don’t let the views of other people influence my decisions; rather, I concentrate on the tasks and obligations that have been assigned to me by the organization. I have a fear of being different. I am a huge fan of change! As a human, I develop, I acquire new knowledge, I go on new experiences, and I develop a greater sense of vitality. In my professional life, change presents me with a chance for creative growth and advancement. It would not be difficult to take advantage of me. I am able to recognize when it is necessary for me to change my stance and when it is necessary for me to maintain my position. I am really dedicated to my principles. I make sure to surround myself with colleagues and mentors who are willing to back my viewpoint whenever it is required. I am able to “live in my head” and seem absent-minded. I have the ability to observe, pay attention, and be in sync with my surroundings. I have the ability to respond to other people and communicate with them in ways that are suitable and useful. Because of this, both my department and my firm will benefit from this. Neither “breaking the ice” nor “small conversation” are skills that I am very skilled at. When it comes to starting talks with other people and having fruitful conversations, I am really good at doing both. Both my professional life and the business I work for will benefit from my ability to do this. When it comes to exerting control over other people, I am not comfortable. I have worked hard to obtain this position, and as a result, I am especially qualified to fill it. Taking responsibility and contributing to the accomplishments of my team members is something that I am not uncomfortable with. Having the ability to lead people is a luxury that allows me to bring out the best in them; utilizing my authority is a tool to achieve this goal. My understanding of the “how” to complete tasks at work is not always crystal obvious. To complement my own abilities, I surround myself with others who have similar ones. At my place of employment, I am increasing the number of steps I take to start and arrange projects, and I am also soliciting comments on how to organize the logistics. I have a tendency to overcommit myself, which results in my not completing all of my tasks on time. I am very good at organizing my time, energy, and resources in a prioritized manner. I am very clear about the things to which I say “yes” and the things to which I say “no.” In situations when it is essential, I do not hesitate to say “no” or to delegate work. Regardless of the job that I choose to accept, I am concerned that I will be let down in some way. It is the failure to shoot high enough at important junctures that might be considered the most disappointing. In the future, I will be able to overcome any disappointment and perform more effectively. My expectations are often unreasonable, and I have a tendency to set my sights too high. Due to the fact that I am constantly able to push myself farther, I am unable to aim high enough. I do not want to get the sensation that I am “coasting.” I will be underused and unsatisfied in my profession if I do not set high goals for myself. On a more fundamental level, I do not really feel that I am deserving of satisfaction and achievement. And if I don’t deserve to be successful and fulfilled, then who else does? I am an intelligent person that works really hard and is a fantastic member of a team. I take great pleasure in becoming a part of something that is far larger than myself and will feel quite satisfying. I am worried that if I make a mistake in my professional life, I may not pull through. I am able to recover from a mistake, and I should not conduct my business from a position of fear. When I make errors, it is natural and human to do so; this is how I learn and develop as a person. Even if I am able to achieve a wonderful working environment, I am concerned that it will not be sustainable. Regardless of the organization I am employed for or the position I am now holding, I am always working for myself. Therefore, attempting to make any employment continue “forever” is not the way to look at the direction of the future. I will try to build a robust network, pay attention to its development, and be vigilant in my search for the next opportunity that aligns with my objectives. My self-confidence isn’t always strong. To put it simply, I am the one who is responsible for making things happen for me. No one else is competent to advocate my professional goal; I am the only one. In order to successfully manage the ever-evolving commercial world, I will rely on my great intuition. The fact that I am extremely ambitious might occasionally lead to difficulties in my professional life. In terms of what I am capable of and ought to do, I am realistic. My career is progressing in a methodical and planned way, and I am making steady progress. There is a tendency for me to behave rashly and respond too hastily. First, I give myself some time to think things over, and then I answer in a manner that is composed, intellectual, and considerate. The affection and respect of my fellow employees is earned as a result of this. You should be able to figure out what the last portion of this exercise is. I informed Ashley that in order for her to accomplish what she set out to do, she would have to commit the whole right-hand column of her page to memory. This would ensure that the new information would remain in her mind and “on the tip of her tongue.” From that point on, she would have to be very careful about the way she thought and the words that she used in her speech. Ashley was aware that in order to “catch herself” each time she reverted to her previous way of doing things and replace them with the alternatives outlined in her new “script,” she would need to exercise self-control and resolve. Ashley accepted the challenge she was given and made a concerted effort to be very mindful and intentional about the thoughts and words she spoke. In the span of only a few weeks, Ashley’s professional life began to show signs of improvement. Throughout the whole of her job hunt, she gained momentum, and her interviews for jobs went considerably more smoothly. Following the receipt of many employment offers, Ashley was finally successful in securing an interesting position in a different location, and she promptly moved with her family. She has been serving in that capacity for a number of years at this point, and she has indicated that “it’s doing wonderfully!” I feel that we might all benefit from a little bit of “script flipping,” even if Ashley’s situation may have been a little bit more harsh or stressful than some and others. It is my recommendation that you pay more attention to the “tapes” that are playing in your own thoughts and update them so that they are more adaptable, healthy, and productive. It is possible that this exercise may result in significant benefits for you, just as it did for Ashley. These gains may not just pertain to your job search and career management, but they may also apply to every aspect of your life! The copyright for this work is held by career potential, LLC. Ford R. Myers, a well-known career advisor who is also the author of the book “obtain the job you want, even when no one’s recruiting,” has granted permission for this article to be reproduced here. Please visit http://www.careerbookbonuses.com in order to get your free career success gifts right now. In addition to being the president of career potential, llc, Ford R. Myers is a career coach who often wins awards. Get the job you want, even when no one is hiring is the title of his best-selling book, which he himself authored. Taking ownership of their lives, doing work that they like, and earning what they deserve are all things that Ford’s business assists its clients in doing. There are three of the major career service businesses in the country, and he has held top consulting roles at all of them. Ford’s writings and interviews have been published in a large number of publications, including magazines, newspapers, television networks, and radio systems. He has also given speeches at a variety of organizations, including colleges, groups, and businesses. Ford may be reached directly at 1-800-972-6588 or can be found at www.careerpotential.com for further information. career, success, employment, job, and related articles are all included. Send a friend an email with this story! Get stories like this one sent to your inbox directly from the source! Get a free subscription right now!
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